How to Support a Child Who Eats Differently to Their Siblings
In many families, there’s one child who eats differently to the rest.
One child might happily eat a wide range of foods, while another sticks to a much smaller, familiar selection. One sibling might finish every meal, while another barely touches their plate.
When children are raised in the same home, with the same routines and food available, these differences can feel confusing - and sometimes worrying - for parents. It’s natural to wonder what you’re doing wrong, or why one child seems so much harder to feed than the others.
The truth is simple, but reassuring: children are different and their eating reflects that.
Why siblings often eat differently
Even within the same family, children have their own temperaments, sensory preferences, appetites and developmental timelines. Some children are naturally more cautious, others more curious. Some are sensitive to textures, smells or mixed foods. Others are driven by routine and predictability.
None of this is a parenting failure. It’s normal child development.
Expecting siblings to eat the same way can unintentionally place pressure on the child who is already finding food harder. That pressure often makes eating feel even more stressful.
The impact of comparison at mealtimes
Comments like “Your sister eats that” or “Your brother finishes his dinner” are usually said without malice - often out of frustration or concern. But comparison can create shame around food, making children feel watched, judged or “wrong” at the table.
When food becomes emotional, children often protect themselves by eating less, not more.
Supporting a child who eats differently starts with removing comparison altogether and recognising each child as an individual eater.
What support actually looks like
Supporting different eaters does not mean cooking separate meals for everyone or abandoning family food altogether.
Instead, it looks like:
Serving one shared meal with small, manageable adaptations
Making sure each child has at least one familiar or “safe” food on the plate
Allowing children to decide how much they eat, without pressure
Keeping mealtimes calm and predictable
This approach respects children’s needs while still maintaining structure — something all children benefit from.
Talking about food with siblings
The language we use around food matters. Simple, neutral explanations help children understand differences without judgement.
Phrases such as:
“Everyone’s body is different.”
“We don’t all like the same foods.”
“You can decide how much feels right for you.”
These messages help all children feel safe at the table - not just the child who struggles more.
When extra support can help
If mealtimes feel tense, emotional or exhausting, support can be incredibly valuable. Seeking guidance doesn’t mean something is “wrong”; it means you’re responding to your child thoughtfully.
Early, gentle support can prevent food anxiety from becoming ingrained and can help restore calm and confidence around meals.
A final thought
Supporting a child who eats differently isn’t about fixing them or forcing change. It’s about building trust, reducing pressure and creating a food environment where every child feels respected - even when their plates don’t look the same.
When children feel safe around food, eating skills develop in their own time.
If you’re feeling unsure how best to support your child, gentle, personalised guidance can make a real difference. I work with families to take the stress out of mealtimes and build confidence around food in a way that feels realistic and sustainable.
All the best and happy eating,
Holly
